The second most common reason for English teachers getting fired is they smell bad. This is mainly tied to smoking cigarettes, but last night I definitely went to bed smelling like the fried chicken I'd bought off the street on the walk home and the prostitutes at the Oh La La Bar down in North Pattaya.
As part of our certification requirement we have to teach a one-on-one lesson. Me and my friend Karisa decided we wanted to try and give our English lesson to some lady boys or prostitutes. However, after spending a few hours on Walking Street in and out of some of the seediest bars we could find, we eventually had to turn around. When our teacher asked us about our 1-on-1s we told him we couldn't find our target market. He responded, " well if you want to talk to prostitutes, I can take you to some. I have friends. We can go to North Pattaya." Obviously, we told him to take us.
The first bar we went to was a bust, the girl serving us was super shy and kind of said she didn't speak English, but eventually let on that she was 26, had a 2 and a 3 year old, and was separated from her former Thai husband who she called a butterfly, one who pollinates many flowers. We moved on to the next bar, where our teacher actually knew nearly all the staff that was working. We got a very warm greeting and talked to all the bar girls for over an hour. I spent a while talking to a ladyboy that I had no idea was a ladyboy until my teacher asked her if she'd had both operations (she clearly had her boobs done).This stuff seems like it'd all be really personal, but the bar culture is just so much more open. She told me she knew she was female when she was about 6 and that her family and friends and school all knew, but she couldn't wear make-up and women's clothes etc. until she finished high school. By the way if you're thinking these women are just like gross trannies, they aren't. This woman was gorgeous. She even had a twin that was also a ladyboy which I find so interesting. While talking, I asked her about the dried squid a vendor was selling. This stuff smells aweful, and I mentioned I didn't like it for the smell and ended up offending them. However, within the hour the bar manager, a gay man named Boi, came over and gave us one. At this point I'd talked shit about it and now I had to eat it. I can only describe it as a step past jerky and of a squid. I tried to wash in down with beer and it expanded in my mouth. The consistency was the chewiness of jerky and a shoe lace combined. At this point I felt I'd redeemed myself. After playing Karisa in the world's saddest game of pool, the girls invited us to come dance behind the bar and get on stage. At my teachers request (because he thinks it's hilarious) I taught all the women how to move it like Bernie and how to do the sprinkler move. IT WAS AWESOME. We asked them if we could come back the following day and give them a free English lesson and I'd throw in a dance lesson. They welcomed us back and are even going to make us dinner (hopefully not one of fried squid). It was a really awesome night and I'm very excited to go back tonight.
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