Heifers: Dress them in Snake Skins and Fatten them up with Blueberry Pancakes

First time I attempted to drive a huge truck up a mountain made of mud.

First time sliding backwards down a mountain made of mud in that same truck.

Made for More than Just Walking

          Forgotten first that happened the second day that I wish I never saw. I saw a cow take a shit on another cow's face. Dead serious. It always bothered me when people would make ethics arguments about eating animals that are less intelligent. You don't get to eat something because it's stupid. If that was the case we would have eaten half the world's politicians. Just kidding...kind of. Anyways people say that sometimes when the discussion of eating dog comes up. This happened a lot to me because I lived in Asia. People would say how could someone eat dog, they're friends and pets and they're smart. That's a US thing and pigs are just as smart if not more intelligent than dogs. BUT if your an animal that let's another animal take a shit on your face, and I mean let's, not forced to because of tight quarters then you are indeed not a smart creature. 

 The first or second day when we were herding the neighbors cattle off the property, one was following another so closely behind, that it's face was in the leading cows ass. The lead cow then proceeded to take a shit...while the other one did nothing but keep it's head in place. What the fuck? I had no idea animals did this, I wish I still had no idea. Cows are dumb.

Since today wasn't that different from the rest I'm going to catch you up on a few weird things that have happened so far. 

Talking about heifers. The rancher says to me,

"Ya know, with heifers first they go out in the pasture with the bulls, if that doesn't work they use artificial insemination, and if still no they fatten 'em up and put 'em to market." 

  "Are you saying that's what's going to happen to me?" Though I know it wasn't his intent my first thought was, oh my God he's talking about me being single. No luck, then online dating, then I just eat myself to death and die. That sounds awful...I think.

That was a day ago or so he said that though. This morning he gave me a rattle snake skin and made blueberry pancakes. Again it rained and stormed until late late afternoon. We worked some of the horses in the morning, emptied out the school house, cut up a bunch of brush from fallen trees and did other manly shit like drive trucks. I didn't ride today and I'm still sore. Even my thumbs hurt. For dinner I made pork chops for the first time. They came out delicious despite the fact I filled the house with smoke to make them. I'm full and exhausted to the point where when I think about showering I think about how much easier a bath would be with just a person on the side to wash my hair for me. I don't want to lift my arms anymore... Is that weird?

Another first, I saw the big and little dipper tonight. When the sky is clear here you can see out for thousands upon thousands of stars.